Rayne's Secret Confessions

The Basics of Hot Wax Play

Hot wax play, in its simplest form is when consenting adults hold the candle over a partner and drip wax, sometimes until a large mound is formed. Occasionally people will drip wax on their partner’s genital area or insert a long candle into the vagina or anus and let the wax run down the sides of the candle until the area is obscured.

Safety Intro

The temperature of any wax used should stay under 110 degrees F. Candle wax for BDSM play should not cause burns. The temperature of wax can be tested on the inside of your wrist (like checking the temperature of a baby bottle). There very possibly will be reddening of the skin and this should clear up in a few hours at the most.

The temperature of the wax hitting the bottom is regulated by the distance the candle is held above the partner, becoming cooler in proportion to its height. Ice or cold water is kept on hand for accidents or simply to alternate the sensations.

Never drip wax in the face.

Different Types of Wax and Colors

  • Avoid beeswax candles. Beeswax burns at a much higher temperature than plain paraffin candles and can cause burns.
  • Avoid beef tallow candles. Wax made from animal fat can be extremely hot and cause burning.
  • Avoid candles with metallic colors. These often contain poisonous metal salts.
  • Avoid Candles with dried flowers or fruit or other decorations embedded in them.
  • Avoid scented candles. Scented candles burn at a higher temperature and may cause scalding.
  • Use plain 100% paraffin candles. These burn at a safe temperature for hot wax play.
  • Remember, color does affect the temperature at which candles melt. Red candles tend to drip hotter than black or white.

Suggestions Before Getting Started

A few good pointers before starting the scene. To avoid a big mess to clean up, have the bottom lay on top of an inexpensive vinyl shower curtain. Do the waxing in an area that can be easily vacuumed or swept. If the bottom has much body hair, have them shaved or place saran wrap over them for easy removal. You may also choose to restrain the bottom. Restraints are a good idea if candles are placed to where the bottom can accidentally knock them over. A waxing scene can take however long you like, but usually takes time to build up to the temperature resistance and also to layers of wax. Remember that at some point the bottom will need to move a little.


It is best to start off with wax that has no added colors. Drip little bits of wax from tapers, votives or pillars at varying heights and areas of the body to help the bottom get into subspace and to help build up a tolerance. Start using the various colors. Remember different colors burn at different temperatures. Some say that yellow feels cold. If you talk to some other participants, you may hear that they were more sensitive to other colors. Go for a steady series of drops. Rotate the candles around while dripping so it burns evenly or a smooth pour from the larger candles. Constantly, drip the wax at various heights and different areas. Keep in mind that different areas of the body may not be able to tolerate as much as other areas, i.e. private sensitive areas.

Make various designs. Use your imagination.

For females, the breasts, nipples and vagina can be very erotic. One type of waxing scene that seems to be a favorite is when the sub is covered in wax from neck down to thighs. For males, the thighs, cock and balls are especially sensitive. You can make a “penis mold” by totally coating the area.

Other ways to vary sensation during wax play…

Once a thick layer of wax has formed, poke a hole in the wax and insert ice cubes or a “turkey baster” of cool water. Or inject a squirt of warm wax under the cooled layer.

Prior to waxing, lay cord or narrow strips of plastic wrap on the body. Once wax has been poured and slightly cooled, the pulling sensation of the cord from under the wax, is very nice on the skin.

Cut small holes out of the layers of wax (for example at the nipples), allowing cooler air to touch the skin, varying temperature conditions all over the body.

If you have some suggestions, you think might be useful, please email us.


If you intend to use votives, allow some of the wax to pool in one of the candles. Pour enough wax to hold the votives in place. Place the votives on and hold until the wax sets. As the votives melt, the spilling will add to the sensation. The votives hold the wax until towards the end of the scene, then can overflow in a rush of warm sensation. The submissive is now in a higher headspace and tolerance level. Also, it helps convincing the bottom/submissive to remain still unless they want a lot of wax poured on at once. Check the votives throughout the scene to make sure they have not burned down too far. As the wax softens make sure the wick does not fall over.

Melting Cubes

These small cubes are quick and easy to melt and are great for pouring on a larger quantity of warm wax at a time. Cubes can be placed in the heat resistant container of your choice and placed in a crock pot of water….melt one color or many colors….a little of each or cups of each!! Now there are no wicks in your way and you can drip, dribble, pour or splash away….of course, be careful of the face!

Wax Removal

Removing the wax can be just as erotic and full of sensation as the actual waxing. Removing the wax very slowly after it has cooled down a little is almost as fun as putting it on. If you are into knife play, this is a good time to do it. You can remove the wax mold intact and keep it as a souvenir. After removing the majority of the wax, try using a knife to scrape the wax off or rubbing with baby oil. The skin is very sensitive once the wax is removed. A cool shower will also help harden any remaining flecks of wax making them easy to wash away or scrape off. Plus you get to cool the body down, too!

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